Ever since I was a little girl, I knew that my Prince Charming would come, sweep me off my feet, and carry me away on his white horse. I developed a strong liking for romantic comedies and bizarre love stories, imagining myself in the lead role, desperately wanting a similar story to happen to me. I’ve met some potential princes (as well as some eternal frogs) over the years, but have never found the lifelong connection I’ve always dreamed of. Most of my long-time friends and even my younger cousins have married, but yet I remain – always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Poor me, I thought – there must be something wrong with me. Perhaps I’m not thin enough, feminine enough, or loving enough. Maybe if I work on these characteristics, I’ll finally meet my destiny…
I was right to look inward to better understand my difficulty with relationships. You see, my struggles were not only about dating – even my relationships with girlfriends and family were never as strong as I thought they should be. The problem turned out to be that I had expectations for people that they could not possibly achieve. I looked to them to make up for my weaknesses, solve all of my problems, and tried to ‘better’ them in return, thus not developing healthy boundaries. I demanded perfection from others, as I often do myself, not remembering that we’re all fallen humans, destined to make mistakes. Academically, I knew that only God was perfect, but in reality, I was looking to other humans to meet my personal needs and was trying to meet their needs, when, instead, everyone should been turning to God.
I don’t think I’m alone when it comes to this; I’m sure many of us turn to humans for things that only God can help us with. Think about it – when you’ve been drained emotionally or upset with someone or something, where do you turn to help in alleviate your frustrations? Is it your husband, your best friend, or maybe even the first person you run into? I challenge you to go to God first. God is always there for us. He cares for us though all of our struggles. He is our rock, our foundation, our very best friend! When we are going through tough times, He wants us to seek him first, putting our complete trust in Him, allowing Him to guide us through the storms of life. By looking to God first, we save ourselves the disappointment of being let down in our mortal relationships, and can focus completely on His truth and the paths He desires.
As far as Mr. Right, and my other interpersonal issues – I’m not worried anymore. I know that if I continue to improve my relationship with God, everything else will work out. I no longer have unattainable expectations for my friends, boyfriends, family members, or even my own reciprocation in relationships. I don’t expect people to ‘fix’ me, and I’ve stopped trying to ‘fix’ others. When something needs fixing, I take it directly to the person who can handle it, the only one who can deliver perfection – Jesus Christ!
Psalm 32:8-10 (ESV) “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.”